Share a time when you were overcome with guilt. What were the circumstances? How did you overcome you guilt?
I was in my school days. I was a quiet, calm, introvert student, average in academics and had just two friends. Things were going in a habitual manner, when one day my class teacher allotted us specific seating arrangements to be followed from the next working day. I was gloomy when I came to know that according to that new arrangement my new bench mate was a girl named Suhana with whom I have never talked. She and I were together since last two grades but had never initiated any communication. I was little dismayed due to this small change. The next day came and I had to sit with Suhana as allotted. The first day almost came to an end but we didn’t talk much. She tried to interact and we had little general conversations that lasted for few moments. As the days passed I got to know the real side of Suhana. She was a girl full of life, smiling, helpful and caring. All of my pre-opinions about her seemed false when I started knowing her well. We both soon were best friends and shared all of our darkest secrets, our happiness and our miseries with each others. We both spent all the time in school together (Many a times I would wonder at the time when I was not able to talk to her for even five minutes.. now for talking even hours seems short.. 🙂 ). We would have lunch together in break time, used to study together, play together and I really enjoyed her company. She was an easy going girl who enjoyed every moment in life. She filled my life with happiness and changed my personality from an introvert to a very friendly girl.
The next grade we choose for different streams and were in different sections. We had a belief that though not in same class but still we would be best of friends. The time we get along to share the day’s whereabouts were constrained to break time of the school hours only but still this continued for few months. Then in my own class I made some good friends and used to spend most of the time with them. Suhana used to come to meet me but after watching me busy with new classmates, our meetings reduced from everyday to rare meetings. (Actually Suhana was as important for me as before but perhaps I wanted to have good friends in class also as they were with me most of the schooltime..) Meeting Suhana got fewer with each passing month. I tried not even a little from my side to remain her friend and got busy with my new friends. Suhana too got some new friends and life goes on.
Soon after two years I evaluated all those school years and I realized how much incorrect I did to Suhana. After realizing the fault I communicated with her few times in school. She always responded with that same smile and care. Soon it was the farewell day and we clicked a snap together and soon those golden school days were a memory and there was no informal contact with Suhana..
I did wrong to her by not giving her time when she gave me so much importance in her life but more than that I did wrong to myself as I lost one very true friend who actually taught me to smile, to live life and most importantly the meaning of friendship. Her faith and belief on me, her support gave me confidence to accomplish what I wished. I always move on with this guilt in life that I somehow did wrong at that one moment. I could never say her but I miss her smile and the blissful moments spent with her. She was an angel that transformed my thoughts and taught me to handle different situations.
It’s been 5 long years since school life is over and I have never met Suhana. Fortunately few months back accidentally we met at a mall confronting each other for the first time after school days. We met like old days without any complaints or questions. We asked about each other’s well being and exchanged our contacts. It was very nice to see her after long years, meeting the same old friend. It never felt that we were meeting after a long time. Perhaps we don’t share the same bonding as before but at least I have this contentment that once I had the best time with her and we both have no grudges against each other. Perhaps she has never held me responsible for the things that happened
I am happy that when we meet again we will be same school FRIENDS and at least we never became/would never become STRANGERS.. 🙂